If your goal is to have everybody love your website and your business and your ideas, then you are holding yourself back from success. You do not need everybody to love your website. In fact, you should not want everybody to love your website. Keep reading and I’ll tell you 2 reasons why it’s a good thing.
Resources mentioned in this post:
Jeff Bezos | Amazon’s beginnings
The Goodness Squad podcast – Episode 89
MAP Method | Sign up for the webinar
This is totally understandable. We all want to be liked. We want people to tell us that our ideas are great, that our website is beautiful. But this is a myth that everyone should love your website.
If your goal is to have everybody love your website and your business and your ideas, then you are holding yourself back from success. You do not need everybody to love (or even like) your website. In fact, you should not want everybody to like your website. You should want some people to dislike it.
I want to illustrate the idea that we don’t need everybody to love our websites, with a story. In fact, we don’t want everybody to like our website.
Many of you know that I used to run a website called Simple Family Preparedness where I helped moms, with kids at home, learn how to get their families prepared for emergencies.
One of the most popular series on my blog was a 72-hour kit series where we took 6 months, one tiny little step at a time, to put together 72-hour kits for our families. This was very popular with my ideal client. This is actually what made my website take off, this series combined with Pinterest.
I got lots and lots of great feedback. People loved the tiny little steps. But not everybody loved it. In fact, I got a really mean email from one woman. One of the weeks was putting religious items into our 72-hour kits. I listed out things that I was adding to mine, like the Book of Mormon and an Ensign magazine.
I also did some research about other religions and the items that might bring them comfort in times of stress. I added those things to the list, things like a rosary. Well, I got an email from a Latter-day Saint woman who was really upset with me. She was very angry that I had included other religions.
She, told me, “You know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus Christ’s church.” And I should not be promoting other churches because I had a responsibility to bring people to Christ and I was failing at that responsibility.
This was hard. She was very firm, mean even, but very confident in her opinions. I struggled with it. Honestly, I was devastated. I didn’t want to offend a member of my church, and I am embarrassed to say so now, but I was concerned. I actually gave some thought to what she was saying. I thought, “Am I wrong for wanting to do that? Am I wrong for including these other religions?”
It took me a day or two to get over it and to find my own confidence to know that is what I want to do. I do believe there is good in other religions in the world. I respect other people’s beliefs and I want them to feel welcome in my circle. Welcome with me and around me, even if they don’t go to the same church as me and I want them to be able to find comfort in an emergency and the Ensign isn’t going to bring them comfort if they don’t have a clue what it is.
I didn’t hold back from talking about who I was and what was important to me, but nor did I exclude other people. And that was the type of person I wanted to be. So what did that mean? Well, it meant that somebody didn’t like my website and that I had to be okay with that.
Not only did I learn, over time, to be okay with that, I learned to actually celebrate those moments because it meant that I was speaking to the person I was best able to help. That woman, I would not have enjoyed working with her. She would not have enjoyed working with me and I would not have been able to help her.
Is there somebody else out there that could help her with emergency preparedness? Yep. There’s lots of other websites, but she is not the person that I was meant to help. And if she could see that, if she got frustrated by my website, then that meant I was being clear enough to attract the people that I was good at helping. The people that I did love helping.
I hope this story sets the tone for everything else I’m going to talk about today. I want you to get to the point where not only are you okay with people not liking your website, ideas, words, or your products but that you can even learn to celebrate it.
That might take some time. It took me years. So don’t feel like you’re behind at all, but it is a good thing. Let’s dive into two reasons why I really believe it is okay, and even good, that not everybody likes your website.
There are very specific people that God wants you to help, maybe even needs you to help. There are people out there that you can reach in a way that other people can’t. And yes, you will reach them by helping them with whatever you sell. You will solve that specific problem for them.
I help you start a business in a way that both makes you money and serves your people. That’s unique. That’s how I help you. But there are other people out there that can teach you that same thing.
Pat Flynn is one of my favorites. He is really, really good at people before profits. He uses that phrase all the time. That’s not an original phrase to me. He is really, really good at caring about people and putting them before his profits.
So yes, there are other people out there that you could learn that thing from, but you choose to be here with me because there is something else, something unique that I bring to your life.
For some reason, my personality, my style of teaching, helps you understand these concepts and ideas in a way that you can actually do it. And there are probably some of you listening right now who think “I think I might actually prefer Pat Flynn” and that is okay. I want you to get to that point in your business.
I want to quote from 1 Corinthians for a minute. This is 1 Corinthians chapter 12. I’m going to start in verse 14:
“For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.”
This seems so ridiculous, doesn’t it? Why would the eye want to be the ear or why would the ear want to be the eye? We do this as women. We look at other people and we think, “oh, they’re so good at that. I wish I was good at that thing. And I’m so bad at it.” We focus on what we don’t do.
We look at each other and we wish that we were like that other woman. That’s what happens when we try to please everybody on our website, instead of simply accepting that we are the ear and that we have a part to play in that we are part of the body of Christ and so does that other woman.
So when somebody comes to my website and they give me feedback that I don’t like, it’s okay. I can leave my website just like it is and she will find somebody else to help her. Because there’s somebody else out there that is better suited to help her.
This doesn’t have to be as extreme as my example with the 72-hour kits and somebody actually being mean. It could simply be somebody giving you very kind feedback.
But if you get feedback from everybody, not everybody is your ideal client. Not everybody is the person that you were meant to help. And if somebody who you wouldn’t be able to offer the best support to gives you feedback, well, that’s not the feedback you want because she isn’t your person. She is not the person that you are meant to help.
Accept that you are just one part of the body of Christ, you are not the entire body and let other people play there part. Let others help in other ways, and you focus on the women that you are meant to and best suited to help.
That’s number one, you have a superpower. And that means that there are people that you will not be as good at helping. It also means that there are very specific people who need you and they need you to stand out so that they can find you.
I know most of you have heard, “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.” We hear that a lot as moms.
I’m in my office early on a Saturday morning I thought I had already written this post. My assistant, Audra, reached out and said, “I can’t find it. I don’t think you wrote it.” So now I’m working on a Saturday when I wouldn’t normally be working. I came down here at six in the morning and as soon as my kids got up, they’re all in here. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.
This happens if your business grows too fast. So even if it were possible for everybody to like your website, which I don’t believe it is, you would be overwhelmed trying to meet so many people’s different needs.
When I have one kid who needs help with homework and another kid who needs help wiping their bum (I don’t have that anymore because they’re all teenagers, but just remembering here), and another kid who needs me to take them to soccer practice, and another kid who just dropped and shattered a bowl. Four different needs all at once and I feel torn.
You do not want to experience that in your business. You want to be helping specific people with a specific need. You want that clarity.
Another part of slow growth is quality growth is that I know that you aren’t just here to push thousands of people through a funnel and just make money from products that aren’t truly serving them. I know that that’s not you, you want to create products that will truly help and serve your people.
You’re about making money, but you’re also about serving your people and putting those people before your profits. If everybody likes your website and they’re just all being pushed through this funnel as fast as can be, you lose the quality. You lose the one-on-one connection with those people that you are really meant to help.
Another part of this slow growth is quality growth, is that you need super fans. And super fans don’t happen by you spreading yourself too thin, by trying to please everybody at once.
I want to tell you the story of Amazon in order to help illustrate this. Amazon was started in 1995 by a man named Jeff Bezos and he had no money. He borrowed $250,000 from his parents. This was their life savings, every penny.
So he borrows quarter of a million dollars and he starts Amazon. He actually called it something else at first, but it’s what became Amazon. He only sold books.
That’s not what we think of when we think of Amazon today, we think of Amazon as the go-to place for anything and everything that you want. They have become that, but they started in 1995 with a very, very narrow focus in purpose. They only sold books. They did not try to please everybody and everything.
It was actually three years before they added any additional products. They started adding computer software and music in 1998. It wasn’t until 2007, so 12 years after they were founded, that they offered the Kindle. So they slowly expanded who they were trying to serve and help.
This created super fans. People who wanted books came to Amazon and they purchased their books and they had a really good experience. And so they did it again and again and again, they kept purchasing books from Amazon and they kept having a good experience. So then when, three years later, Amazon decides to offer computer software and music, they have this base of fans.
Do every single one of those fans all like computer software and music? Probably not, but a good number of them did and they went and told their friends who didn’t like books, but did like music or did like computer software. So now Amazon has included and expanded that customer base and they just continue to do that over and over and over again. They add new features, but they add them slowly over time.
And guess what? They still don’t please everybody. They have grown their business and they did it by starting small and creating super fans. But they still don’t please everybody. I know many people who don’t like Amazon and refuse to purchase from them. And Jeff Bezos is just fine with that.
In fact, he had so many people tell him that he would fail by trying to sell books online, but he kept at it. He had lots of people who did not like what he was doing initially, but he kept doing it.
Those are the two reasons why it is okay that not everybody likes your website, but what does this actually mean? Well, it means that you want to repel people just as much as you want to attract people. You want to attract the right people and repel the wrong people.
The wrong people are just going to water down your email list and your social following. They’re going to get on your email list. They’re going to follow you on Instagram, but they’re not going to comment. They’re not going to like, they’re not going to share because they’re lukewarm. They don’t really want to be there. They don’t really, really need what you do.
So what does that mean? Well, when not very many people open your emails, more of them go to spam. When not very many people comment on your Instagram posts or share them or like them? Well, fewer people see those posts. You do not want these people to be a part of your business.
It doesn’t mean you don’t like them. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them. It doesn’t mean they’re not good people. It just means that there’s somebody else out there, some other part of the body of Christ that is better suited to help them.
The wrong people will also exhaust you. They will ask for things that you either aren’t able to give, aren’t qualified to give, or don’t want to do. They aren’t your people and that will exhaust you. That’s like your kids saying, “Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum,” where you’re trying to meet everybody’s needs all at once.
The wrong people will also give you bad feedback. Not mean feedback, not cruel feedback. It’s probably kind and they really mean it, but it’s what would help them. And if they aren’t your person, then what would help them probably won’t help your person.
So they’ll give you feedback, tweak this on your website, change that, do that differently. If you do that, now you’re helping somebody who you aren’t really good at helping, or you don’t really enjoy helping instead of helping the person that you’re meant to help and that you really do enjoy helping.
#1 – The very first thing is to have an information inventory.
When you’re very first starting out, this is going to be more broad, but as you start interacting with people online, in your email list, on social media, on your website, you are going to learn more about them.
They will ask you questions and you will then be able to add that stuff into your information inventory. Using the language that you have gathered into your information inventory – words your ideal client has actually said. When you use that language on your social media posts in your emails, on your website, that is when you will start to attract the right person and repel the wrong person.
#2 – Take a firm stand, be unique in some way, own your superpower. I want to give you a couple of examples.
First example is Stacey from Oquirrh Kitchen Table. She has attended both of my Get Stuff Done workshops. Most recently, we did a mini-workshop for three days. Stacy helps moms plan their meals ahead of time. She gives them shopping lists of what they need to buy and how to pre-prepare their meals so that when it comes time for dinner, it doesn’t take very long to get dinner on the table.
You might listen to that and think “That’s great. I’d like to learn that, but there’s a lot of other people that I could learn that from.”
Stacey had kind of an a-ha moment as somebody from her ideal client pool was also at the workshop: another client from ASL Wonder. Deidra and Stacey were talking and Stacy was like, “how much do you think this product is really worth? What would you actually pay for it?”
Deidra threw out some numbers, but she wasn’t super excited about it. Then Stacey said something about how she involves her kids in this process. And all of a sudden Deidra was 100% excited. She’s said, “Now I’m excited. Now that’s worth money. If you are going to help me get my kids in the kitchen, help me use my kids to meal plan and pre-prepare meals, then I’m all there. Because now I not only get the benefits of preparing meals in advance and being more organized, eating healthier, but I’m also teaching my kids and involving them in the kitchen and teaching them skills. And I’m connecting with them and I’m not having to do all the work to create that.”
That is Stacey’s superpower! She teaches you how to plan and prepare meals in a way that involves your kids. You need to find a way to be unique and stand out in some way.
How do I do this? I have a very narrow niche for one thing – Latter-day Saint mompreneurs with kids who are still at home. That’s my ideal client. But in addition, I’ve created a method, the MAP Method {Money And People}. And I talk about it. I want to help you make money and serve your people. That is unique. It makes me stand out.
I have very specific sayings that call this out online.
People over profits.
Done is better than perfect.
Practice makes progress.
I use those types of sayings to help me stand out. They’re not overly controversial, but they are a way that I am taking a stand. Done is better than perfect. You do not need to be perfect. You need to move forward. I get some pushback on that, but it’s important to me. So I will eliminate people by saying those things. I will eliminate people who do not agree with me, and that’s a good thing.
So let’s review. Why is it okay that not everybody likes what you put out into the world? Number one, because you have a superpower and you aren’t meant to help everyone. You’re meant to help those people who need you. Number two, because slow growth is quality growth.
What does that mean? It means you need to both attract the right people and repel the wrong people. And how do you do that? Number one, you have an information inventory and number two, you take a firm stand, you own your superpower and you choose to stand out even if it means some people don’t like you.
The best place to start doing this is in the magnet section of your homepage. It’s the very first section, right at the top of your homepage. It’s what people see as soon as they land on that page. It needs to be super scannable easy to read and understand, and it needs to attract the right person and repel the wrong person.
If you want help with the magnet section and the other seven sections that you should have on your homepage, you need the homepage MAP Method cheatsheet. Head on over to mistydmarsh.com/join in order to get that cheat sheet.
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